5 ways to deal with diet-obsessed people in your life
Keeping yourself from falling into the traps of diet culture is hard. Society constantly tells us we have to be smaller, thinner, more delicate, and eat less. These messages can be difficult to shut out, but especially so when those around us are repeating the hurtful tenets of diet culture. Here are some tips for dealing with the family and friends in your life who may not be the best influence.
Tell them. This may seem straight-forward, but can actually be really difficult. They may not understand how toxic their words are to you and how they make you feel or even how often they’re talking about food, weight loss, or body image. Make sure you frame the conversation as being about the problem you have with what they’re saying, not them as a person.
Separate meetings from food. If possible, remove food from interactions with the problematic person. If every time you meet this person is over a meal, you will probably talk about food every time. Try spending time together somewhere where food is not involved.
Redirect the conversation. If they begin talking about an uncomfortable topic, for example how much weight they want to lose before bikini season, try redirecting the conversation to a different subject. You could try saying something like, “I’m excited for summer too. Did you hear about that new boardwalk they’re opening by the beach? We should go sometime!”
Suggest more helpful influences. So much of what we think is actually just repeated from the sources that influence us. These toxic thoughts came from somewhere, and your friend or family member could probably use some more healthy influences in their life. Try suggesting some body positive Instagram pages, or an anti-diet book you like. If you can redirect their influences, you could possibly redirect their thoughts to be less focused on size and weight, which would be better for both them and you.
Remove what isn’t helpful. If all of the above have failed, you might consider removing this person from your sphere of influence or minimizing your contact with that person. Family members are more difficult, but friends and coworkers may have to have less of a presence in your life, at least for a time. Sometimes, you may not be able to completely cut someone out of your life, but you can choose to not engage in conversations about dieting or body image with them. If these topics come up, try saying something like “I’ve made it clear that this topic makes me uncomfortable, so I am going to leave now.” You have no obligation to anyone to stay in a conversation that makes you uncomfortable.
This blog post was written by our wonderful intern Kelly.
Happy Holidays from Dallas & Feed Yourself & Your Family